One of the main themes in Shadow Dancing is the struggle for main character Rebekah Casey to forgive her husband Mitch. I won’t tell you why, because it would be a major spoiler alert. In light of this, I thought it would be appropriate to a devotional on forgiveness for my readers. I’ve not only videotaped myself reading it (see they YouTube video below) but I’ve included the written devotion in case you might want a copy. If you’d like a physical copy of it, please contact me with your email address, and I will be happy to send you a Word document copy.
Forgiveness. As a Christian, this is a critical component of our faith. In fact, the word forgive appears 127 times in the bible, beginning in Genesis and going all the way through Revelation. Jesus said in Mark 11:25, “And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins.” This verse aligns with another in Matthew 6:14 and Luke 6:37-38 which ends with, “…For with this measure you use, it will be measured to you.”
It’s clear from the Bible that not only are we commanded to forgive, but not doing so can be detrimental to our relationship with the Lord. According to GotQuestions.org, our eternal destiny is not based on forgiving others, however, it’s hypocritical to expect our sins to be forgiven and then turn around and refuse to forgive someone else’s. It makes living in right relationship with God difficult. It also calls into question if we have truly experienced God’s forgiveness for ourselves.
But what sounds so simple is one of the hardest things for many people to actually do. I struggled with this myself when my ex-husband walked away from our 22-year marriage. The betrayal caused such bitterness in me, it took a long time for the Lord to peel back the layers of anger. It seemed like whenever I felt I’d come to a place of forgiveness, something would happen to open the wound back up, and I’d need to go through the process all over again. It didn’t matter that logically, I could see that my ex actually did me a favor. His abandonment put me on my knees, opened my heart to Jesus, and changed the trajectory of my life in so many marvelous ways. The betrayal still ran deep.
You’ve heard the saying, “Holding onto bitterness is like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.” It’s self-destructive. In fact, according to John Hopkins medicine, “Whether it’s a simple spat with your spouse or long-held resentment toward a family member or friend, unresolved conflict can go deeper than you may realize—it may be affecting your physical health. The good news: Studies have found that the act of forgiveness can reap huge rewards for your health, lowering the risk of heart attack; improving cholesterol levels and sleep; and reducing pain, blood pressure, and levels of anxiety, depression and stress. And research points to an increase in the forgiveness-health connection as you age.
So, how do we get there? Sometimes I wonder if it’s harder for women to forgive because our brains are wired so differently than a man’s. We have emotional connections that fire back up with a thought or word that lands us back in the past, while men can more easily compartmentalize. But we also have a higher capacity to talk about our feelings rather than holding them inside, which should help the process.
The closer I walk with Jesus, the more easily I can see that we’re all flawed, broken people, for we have all sinned and fall short of the glory of God—Romans 3:23. The first step to forgiveness is to take our hurt and pain to the cross. Where we are weak, Jesus is strong. Holding onto bitterness will damage our relationship with God. If we walk in the sin of unforgiveness, refusing to move toward grace, then He won’t hear our prayers. It’s a process, as I said earlier—like peeling the layers of an onion and dealing with them one at a time.
You can still preorder Shadow Dancing and receive the bonus of a free story I wrote. It’s called Heart Shadows, and it’s a prequel to Bekah and Mitch’s story set in 1977 Nashville. Click the link here, and choose whether you want the ebook (for $2.99) or the paperback for 30% off and free shipping. Heart Shadows is included in the paperback version, but if you choose the ebook version, you need to fill out the form so my publisher can send it to you. Scroll down to the bottom of the webpage and follow the links. Easy peasy!
