Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Then you will be able to test and approve what God’s will is—His good, pleasing and perfect will—Romans 12:2
Have you ever wrestled with choices? Some are pretty simple—like picking out an outfit for the day or deciding what to fix for supper. Okay, that choice might be a little tough for some of us non-foodies. But when it comes to discerning God’s will for your life, it gets trickier.
Growing up, I spent every Sunday sitting in a church pew. Yet, I’m ashamed to admit I never considered praying for the right school, the right career path, or even the right (first) husband. It all came down to feelings. I don’t know if this is true for you, but when I was twenty, I didn’t have the sense God gave a rock, let alone the ability to pick apart my feelings on any given day.
I was in desperate need of godly wisdom.
I’m just grateful the Lord is faithful to work through us even in the midst of foolish choices. Can I get an amen? I’d like to say everything became easier after I surrendered my life to Jesus and prayed through my decisions—at least the major ones. Some were so clear, I couldn’t miss them with my eyes closed. Like marrying Chris. God’s hand was all over our relationship from the very beginning.
Others were a little tougher. When I quit teaching to write full time, I was pretty sure it was Spirit-led. God put that desire to write novels on my heart at a very young age. I played with the idea off and on while raising my kids, but when it came down to needing an income, I abandoned the dream and went back to college. FYI—the average writer makes $5,000 a year. And I’m way below average at this point.
After Chris and I got married, he suggested I step away from teaching to try my hand at writing, since the dream hadn’t died. Of course, I jumped at the chance. I envisioned being locked away in my cozy office, penning beautiful novels of redemption and hope. Literary agents would be clamoring to sign me, and before a couple of years went by, I’d be a published author on the path toward fame and fortune.
Having a wild imagination is important for an author, don’t you think?
I attended writer’s conferences, joined critique groups, and spent hours at my computer writing story. After story. After story. A few years into this writing gig, I started to wonder if maybe I’d heard wrong. I wasn’t even fantasizing about fame and fortune anymore—merely getting signed by a literary agent would’ve been a dream come true.
It was at this point I started reading Henry Blackaby’s Experiencing God: Knowing and Doing the Will of God. There were so many useful tidbits within its 579 pages (yes, that number is correct), but the one I most remember goes something like this: If God showed us everything He planned for our future, it would paralyze us. We’d be overwhelmed with the bigness of His purpose for us. Kind of reminds me of Jack Nicholson’s famous line from A Few Good Men— “You can’t handle the truth!”
Just like walking through trials to strengthen our faith, God eases us into His plan and purpose little by little. However, knowing that didn’t help me discern if I was still on the right path. In fact, a wise person told me that just because God’s will for me was to write, it didn’t necessarily mean His will was that I get published. If He only gave me a clue!
Wouldn’t it be great if the Lord would send a text message or email?
Obviously, you know I have been traditionally published. In fact, book number fourteen comes out next month. But that doesn’t mean I don’t still have doubts now and again. I prayed for over six months before hearing the Lord press on me that it was time I walked away from my publisher. Months of pleading and tears and wondering what would be next.
If you’re in a season of doubt, I want to encourage you. Pray for God’s will and wait on His answer. I think the waiting is the hardest part, don’t you? But F.B. Meyer put it this way: “When you are doubtful as to your course, submit your judgment absolutely to the Spirit of God, and ask Him to shut against you every door but the right one…Meanwhile keep on as you are, and consider the absence of indication to be the indication of God’s will that you are on His track.”
I know one thing for sure—I never, EVER want to go my own way again. Feelings are costly and often deceitful. I believe clear down to my toes that whatever God has planned for my future is by far more superior than anything I could come up with on my own. And I truly believe the same for you.
Comments 1
Jennifer, as your older sister, I was raised the same way. It didn’t even dawn on me to read the Bible. It was a coffee table decoration. While in my first marriage with my late husband, I managed to surround myself with Born Again women, but my husband blocked me in many ways. After he passed I started on a daily prayer for the right kind of husband. You know what? I knew more what I wanted for a Christian husband. I went through many men. Some were not good at all. But I was talking on video chat with the man God had for me. The one I married told me during the last video chat every point in that prayer. It made a world of difference. Now I am praying for my children (all adults) to become Christian. God is truly good all the time.