Procrastinate. [proh-kras-tuh-neyt] (verb) To put off till another time; defer; delay.
You may remember from grammar school that a verb is an action word. I have to admit, when I’m in procrastinate-mode, I am very active—trying to avoid what it is I should be doing. Chores that didn’t seem all that important suddenly become my primary focus. Soap scum in the shower, flowers to plant, a room that needs a paint job… that’s my M.O.
Funny thing is, I spent my career as a teacher trying to make my middle school students understand why procrastinating is a poor choice. I was big on the mantra, “Delay gratification.” Learn to get the hard stuff done before the fun stuff, and your life will be richer for it. I believe this. And it’s not like I sit in front of the television or go on shopping sprees to avoid my fear of failure. Because that’s what procrastinating is for me—fear of failure.
Weeks ago (dare I say, maybe even months ago) I convinced my husband that rather than spend thousands of dollars replacing our front door, I could just refinish it. Simple, right? Take it off its hinges (all 200 pounds of it), strip off the old paint, and put a fresh color back on. I was so confident, I rushed out and bought the paint, stripper and sandpaper. They’re sitting on a shelf in my paint closet, just waiting for me to get up the nerve to put thought into action.
Of course, I had to get my Christmas novella done first. It was due on June 1st. Now, I need to get a couple chapters of my new Work in Progress completed so I won’t have to face another week with my critique group empty-handed. But somehow, the dirty windows couldn’t wait another day and the cushions on our outside furniture needed a good scrubbing.
I have to say, I get a whole lot done when I’m procrastinating. Because not only do I fear I’ll make a mess of the front door, I’m not super confident that the novel I’ve spent the last several months concocting in my head is going to look as good on the computer screen.
Fear of failure.
Any procrastinators out there who can sympathize with me? 2 Timothy 1:7 says, For God did not give us a spirit of timidity (fear), but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline. I know this in my head, but my heart is having a little trouble connecting.
Years ago, I decided to paint our kitchen and one wall of our family room red. I could see it clearly in my mind, and it took months to find the perfect red—not too orange, not too blue. But then Chris threw a wrench into the works. “That family room wall would look great textured. Think you could do that before painting it?” I didn’t even hesitate to say yes, even though I’d never done such a thing before. Another few months went by while I speculated how I’d accomplish it.
Fast forward thirteen years. We’ve since moved to a new house (in another state) and the kitchen remodel required I do something with the wall. The previous owners painted a humongous chalkboard calendar in the middle of it. No amount of sanding smoothed the lines out, and although it was good enough for Chris, I knew it would drive me nuts (or nuttier) to see the lines of that calendar through the new paint every time I laid eyes on it. Topping compound, a cool contraption Chris concocted from items in the garage, and a wide sheet rock taping knife was all I needed to transform the wall. We loved the outcome so much, we textured our entire master bath and another half-bath. All this to say, once I got past my fears, I was able to exceed my expectations. Want a wall textured, I’m your girl.
Isn’t that just how God works? He promises to equip us with what we need, but we have to take the step of faith to accomplish anything He puts on our hearts. I doubt He cares if I refinish my front door, but I’m sure He’ll bless my attempt to be a good steward of the finances He’s provided us with. And I know my Work in Progress is really His Work in Progress—His gift to me; His task for me.
Is there something in your life you want to do, or need to do, but fear of failure is holding you back? Arm yourself with the right tools, the right heart, and lots of prayer. Then step out in faith and get it done.
Comments 1
This reminds me of the baseboard I said we could do because they would charge $2 per foot. We had new flooring put in. I ripped the old baseboards off in preparation of the new flooring going in. It has been two or three years and while some rooms got done, I had trouble with places the rooms were not 90 degree angles, like the bump out in my dining room and bedroom. Now, my husband has passed away and I need to put the house on the market. Now I need to hurry.