I’m sure you’ve heard the adage, “You can’t go home again.” Once I went off to college, I was forever a guest rather than a resident in my parents’ house. I know this isn’t always the way. There are many young adults who either take a while to leave the nest or return when their plans for independence don’t quite live up to their expectations. Married at twenty, my first child by 24, this wasn’t the case for me. I knew that going home wasn’t an option, even when there were seasons I yearned to shake off adulthood and bask in the love and security of my mom and dad.
As I’m writing this blog post, this adage runs through my mind like a mantra. The original saying came from a Thomas Wolfe novel, You Can’t Go Home Again, published posthumously in 1940 by editor Edward Aswell, and extracted from Wolfe’s unpublished manuscript October Fair. It was in response to the changes of the 1920s/30s when life took a drastic turn from the illusion of simple times to the stock market crash, Great Depression and World War II. But it had far deeper meaning than that—it was an essay on the global political upheaval of those times and how America could never go back.
I’m not a political person. That’s not to say I don’t have deep feelings about what’s happening in our world today. I do. But I also look at it from a godly perspective, and because of this, often my thoughts and opinions do not match that of others. Speaking out in today’s social climate is on par with agitating the masses, unless they agree with you. Sadly, free speech is only respected if you agree with those to whom you’re speaking. Open your mouth and someone is apt to shut it for you.
All these things have been ruminating in my mind as I returned to California from my new home state (Tennessee) for the first time in seven months. My former hometown county is conservative red, smack in the middle of liberal blue. Driving from Sacramento to Sutter Creek, the social climate made quite a shift, and I felt like I could breathe again. We had only one day (eight hours) to spend in Amador County, which made it very difficult. There are so many people we wanted to catch up with, it would’ve taken us a week to do so. But the few we could see was spent outside basking in the beautiful California weather.
Our last connection took place sitting outside of Raley’s with an iced Peet’s coffee. It happened to be the hub as everyone was coming in for their 4th of July groceries. We saw many of Chris’s former patients, old church friends, Bible study buddies… it was a delightful couple of spontaneously connecting hours. But then driving back to my mother-in-law’s house at the end of the day, it hit my husband and me that this is no longer our home. We still have family and friends here that we love, but our hearts now belong in Tennessee.
We don’t know what changes will occur over the next weeks and months. Will this be the last time we’re able to travel to California to see Mom before the Lord calls her home? Since she’s a frail 92, that’s a definite possibility. Life is precarious, made more so with the fear, anger and divisiveness that’s become our culture. I’m just grateful that I know Who is ultimately in control—and it’s not me. And that whether we’re separated from those we love by ten miles or 2,400 (or in the case of our son, over 4,000 miles) they’re only a phone call or text away. Thank God for unlimited plans!
Comments 4
Interesting experience. I didn’t know there was any conservative red in that area–encouraging–and good insights and conclusions.
I really enjoyed reading this. You’ve said so many things that I, too, am feeling. It’s sad when we cannot speak our thoughts and opinions without stirring up anger and retaliation instead of honest dialogue. Thank you for an informative and honest post. Prayers continue for your mother-in-law. It can’t be easy being so far away.
The past couple of days in the devotional The One Year Walk With God Devotional by Chris Tiegreen has been Ecclesiastes 3:1-8 has brought home the cyclic nature of our lives on this planet. I have been more glad to know what the end of the road is for God’s chosen. I know your sweet Mother-in-Law is looking towards her time with God. As always she, you and Chris are in my prayers. Love you lots, Sis
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Thank you, sweet sister. I appreciate your prayers and your special friendship. Love you!