I didn’t need the alarm, set at 2:00 a.m. yesterday morning, to wake me. I’d been listening to the cicadas and crickets for ninety minutes, ready to get started on the 2400-mile road trip I swore less than a year ago I would never make again.
Never say never.
In his heart a man plans his path, but the Lord directs his steps. This is a verse I’ve written on my bathroom chalkboard more than once, for good reason. John Lennon took credit for it with his quote, “Life is what happens when we’re busy making plans.” The difference between the two are worlds apart. At least for my husband and me.
My mother-in-law (Mom) is 91 years old and plagued lately with some health challenges. Expected or not, it’s still concerning. We thought there may come a time when we have to set our life in Tennessee aside and temporarily relocate to Mom’s California home. Although we fly back every six weeks or so, it’s not enough. Chris’s sister, Diane, gladly takes on the brunt of the responsibility, which until recently was manageable. But things were ramping up and I felt anxious for Mom and Diane. We had a flight booked to go back on Wednesday, but what if we needed to stay longer than the week we had planned? Do we leave our car at the airport indefinitely? Do we pay for a rental car in California indefinitely?
These were questions I posed in my prayer journal to the Lord on Friday morning. And within five seconds, the words You need to drive to California were clearly impressed on my spirit. We had friends visiting from out of state who weren’t scheduled to leave for days, appointments and commitments we’d scheduled for the following month, and I just didn’t want to make the drive. We did it last November—and stayed through Christmas. It was then I said I’d never do it again.
Never say never.
I prayed a little longer, then shared my thoughts (the Lord’s thoughts) with Chris. It took all of thirty seconds for him to come to the same conclusion. Once we called Diane and heard the relief in her voice, we had our confirmation. By that evening, we had everything, including Gracie (our Maltese) packed up and ready to go. Our neighbors graciously agreed to take care of the houseplants and keep an eye on things. Our friends found an alternative to the plans we’d made with them. And church friends are covering our commitments there.
We’ve had well-meaning friends assume that Mom would eventually need to go into an assisted-living home. But she gets such joy from being in her own home, seeing her “mountain” every day, a view she shared with Dad for years. It would break her heart, and more importantly, her spirit to leave her paradise. There are some things we can’t control, but if we can, we choose to do whatever it takes to allow her to stay where she is.
When Mom told Diane that she hated being a burden, Diane’s response was, “It’s an honor and a privilege to care for you, Mom, after all you’ve done for me.” I love that, and just writing it brings tears to my eyes. It’s so easy to take our lives for granted and to feel put upon when they get interrupted. Every situation is different and not everyone is able to shift their lives in such a way. Chris is retired and I can write from anywhere. And what a blessing to be able to give Mom what she desires at this time in her life.
Comments 1
I am sorry to here about your Mother-In-Law. Just knowing Chris, I am sure she is a very good mother. I know that traveling by car so far is difficult. I am glad you have friends in Tennessee to take care of your home while you are gone. I know you and Chris will make her happy just being there. Give her my love and also to you and Chris.