Envy. It’s an insidious four-letter word we’re all familiar with—some of us more intimately than others. Dictionary.com defines it as “a feeling of discontent or covetousness with regard to another’s advantages, success, possessions, etc.” I never gave this emotion much thought as a sin until I was slapped with the word Covetousness. As a former Catholic girl, I learned the Ten Commandments at a young age, and number ten is YOU SHALL NOT COVET. Just because it’s down on the list doesn’t make it any less important.
I would love to say I’ve never dealt with envy, but that would be a lie—which goes against another commandment. I’m well aware that Jesus is the new covenant, and His death freed me from the judgment of my sins, but it doesn’t take away our need to repent of them. And believe me, I’ve repented of this one more times than I can count.
The thing about envy is that none of us sees beyond outward appearances. We don’t have a close-up view of what goes on in someone else’s heart or the struggles they have to deal with. I remember sitting with a teacher I’d worked with for years, pouring out my pain to her after my first husband left me, and how it shocked her that my life wasn’t as perfect as she’d always assumed. Or maybe I led her to believe all was perfect, because I was too embarrassed to share the truth.
And I’ve made that mistake myself. Friends who brag on their children’s successes only to later find that they struggle in areas I wouldn’t wish on my own. Couples who seem to have it all but are literally dying inside from the stress of keeping up appearances. All of us are seeking something to fulfill us, whether it’s success, relationships, adventure, etc. Unless we find our value in our relationship with Jesus Christ, we will focus on what we don’t have and be ungrateful for what we do.
MentalHealth.net had this to say about envy: “Envious people tend to feel hostile, resentful, angry, and irritable. Such individuals are also less likely to feel grateful about their positive traits and their circumstances. Envy is also related to depression, anxiety, the development of prejudice, and personal unhappiness.” Who in their right mind would want to live like this?
Envy is nothing new. The first instance of it we see in the Bible is when Cain killed his brother Abel because Abel’s sacrifice was more pleasing to God. Proverbs 14:30 says A heart at peace gives life to the body, but envy rots the bones. Envy divides people, destroys relationships, and creates a spirit of bitterness and evil if it festers. Joseph’s brothers acted out of envy and bitterness, and let’s not forget how King Saul spent years trying to kill David because of this sinful emotion. As James 3:16 puts it For where you have envy and selfish ambition, there you find disorder and every evil practice.
It has taken me a long time to value the gifts and unique abilities the Lord has given me rather than lament over the ones I don’t have. Psalm 139:13-14 is a good reminder of this. For you created my inmost being; you knit me together in my mother’s womb. I praise you because I am fearfully and wonderfully made; your works are wonderful, I know that full well.
Comparing ourselves to others is a waste of time, steals our joy, and makes us ungrateful. It also holds us back from valuing the gifts of those we are in relationship with. I don’t have my husband’s servant-heart, but rather than be envious about it, I want to encourage him when he uses it, and maybe learn to be a little more like him. My youngest sister can put out a spread of food like no one else, which I would love to be able to do. But I can’t. Instead, I know my limitations and work within them—and no one will starve if they come to my house to eat.
Now when I find myself wrestling with a little envy, I take it to the Lord. Discontentment is the tool of the enemy, and whenever he can shift our thinking from gratitude to grumbling, he gets a foothold into our lives. And once he does, he can keep us from living the life God has for us or being effective in whatever work He calls us to. It divides our attention, and we get nothing done.
The next time you’re tempted to envy another person’s life, you might want to take a page out of my late mother-in-law’s book. Near the end, she would lay in her bed and sing that old Irving Berlin song, “Count Your Blessings Instead of Sheep.” It was a sweet reminder for me that we should focus with gratitude on all the Lord has done—not the least of which is to send His only Son so that we can have eternal life with Him. May that be your focus, too, during this Christmas season.
Comments 4
Wonderfully said. Everyday I pray thanking God for what He has given me. It leaves no room for envy.
Author
Yes, I agree. Sometimes, though, we backslide.
thanks for the great post. envy is a destroyer and as humans we all tend to go there at some point in our lives. thank goodness Jesus is so forgiving and helpful to us in this area of struggle. I like your moms idea of singing. love that song.
Author
Thank you! And yes, we are so incredibly blessed to have a Savior who helps us.