“One of the main reasons we struggle with insecurity: We’re comparing our behind-the-scenes with everybody else’s highlight reel.”—Steven Furtick #crashthechatterbox
I love this quote because it’s so true, especially in today’s society. In my parents’ generation it was about keeping up with the Joneses, but it takes on a whole new level with the implementation of social media. My Space turned Facebook turned Instagram turned Snap Chat. I’m sure I’ve missed one or two and I’m not up on the newest addition, but you get my point.
Comparison is the work of the enemy. Steven Furtick says, “Nothing can kill contentment and feed insecurity like comparison.” I’ve been a victim of this more often than I’d like to admit. This is probably why Furtick’s book Crash the Chatterbox speaks to my heart. We try to appear perfect in an imperfect world, where no one is perfect.
My husband, Chris, graciously agreed to work through this book with me. I assumed he wouldn’t get much from it because I know there’s a whole lot more “chatter” going on inside my head than his. This is probably true for most women. We weren’t blessed with a “nothing box” like our male counterparts. Often, when an incident occurs in our life, he’s processed it and released it while I’m just getting started. God’s sense of humor.
But working through this together has opened up a line of communication that helps us 
draw closer to God and to each other. I’m generally a book-in-the-hand kind of girl. I like real books. I like marking them up, dog-earing pages and flipping through from chapter to chapter. However, we decided to purchase the ebook because it would download on both our Kindle apps (iPads) and we could read it at the same time without purchasing two copies. The surprising upside to this is that as we’re reading through it individually, we highlight those passages that speak more directly to our own hearts—in different colors. Chris is yellow and I’m pink. And in this process, I’ve made an interesting discovery: There isn’t a lot of overlap.
When we first started reading this book, Chris assumed it was written by a woman merely because of the title. He, too, knows that head chatter is more commonly experienced by women. But Furtick hits on some points that are universal. Issues of insecurity and negative self-talk is a human condition. My insecurity may not be Chris’s, but we both struggle with them at some level.
What we all need to focus on is that there is only One opinion that matters—it’s not our neighbor’s, our spouse’s, our church family’s or our pastor’s. It’s not even our own. “When you realized that God is the only One who really has any lasting reward to give, He becomes the only One whose approval you desperately need” (pg. 33).
Furtick describes an incident where he was setting up an Instagram post of him preparing for his sermon. He laid out the theology books he was using and then realized how anemic they appeared. So, after repositioning them over and over again, still unhappy with the results, he started pulling more books from his shelf in an attempt to look more scholarly. When he laid out a 1,200-page tome that he hadn’t opened in years, he realized what he was doing and stopped himself. He wrote, “I had to laugh to keep from being disgusted with myself.”
But how many of us do that, too? Maybe not to that extent, but somewhat? I don’t like having my picture taken unless I’m looking my best—and even then, it’s a struggle. If you don’t believe me, just ask my husband. I posted a picture of my updated dinette room and noticed a laundry basket sitting in the background. I had to resist the urge to retake the picture so people don’t see that I have unfolded laundry sitting around. And that’s just the shallow surface stuff—the stuff I’m willing to admit to.
What about you? What would happen if we all took off our masks and admitted to the insecurity that often plagues us? I think there’d be a lot less comparison going on and a lot more real connections to take its place.
Comments 1
I learned in Al-Anon “Don’t compare my insides with your outside.” Simple, but to the point.