Never in my life have I attended an estate sale. Even “garage sale-ing” (as my daughter calls it) hasn’t been part of my M.O. It’s not that I have anything against them, I’m just not a shopper by nature, unless I’m looking for something specific. Although, I do love a good deal. In fact, my sweet mother-in-law taught me an invaluable lesson when I first married Chris. “Don’t tell him how much you spent; tell him how much you saved.” Wise words from a woman who was married to a frugal man and knew how to work the system after nearly seventy years.
This has been a hard ten days—not as much for me as for my husband and sister-in-law, Diane. It’s been a whirlwind of cleaning, organizing, and eliminating. How do you reduce the life of a beloved 92-year-old woman into piles without emotions running rampant? Because we live 2,400 miles away, we couldn’t ease into it without logistical challenges. Instead, we all decided it would be best to rip off the Band-Aid and get everything done before Chris and I make the three-day trek back to Tennessee.
There is an art to doing an estate sale—and the first priority is the amount and quality of one’s stuff. Mom’s was of decent quality, although the younger generation doesn’t do bedroom suites or see a difference between something made in Portugal or China. They don’t care if a piece was lovingly picked out on a vacation in Europe or purchased on Amazon. They don’t see the value in the anecdote that goes along with this piece or that, which is why it’s best to let the professionals take over. However, when the professionals want more stuff than we had and were booked out for two months, we had to put emotions aside and get it done.
The line, “Don’t try this at home,” comes to mind. But God is so good. Even when it comes to something as mundane as an estate sale, He provides. One of the professionals we called offered to come by to see if there was anything of Mom’s they could sell in their consignment store. Randy and Jeanne (R&J Estate Sales) popped over for a “quick” visit last Monday evening as they got off of work. What a great couple. Very enthusiastic and outgoing. They suggested we do the sale ourselves then spent the next ninety minutes helping us price everything out. If not for them, we would have never been able to take this on.
Even so, it was a mixture of catharsis and melancholy. I watched one woman hold Mom’s beautiful Madonna wall hanging (which came from Italy) lovingly in her arms as if it were a treasured piece then carefully wrapped it to take home. The matched set of white chairs Chris and I always sat in to do our morning Bible study when visiting Mom were practically given away, but to a young woman who had just bought her first home. A cute Hispanic man was thrilled to get my favorite pieces of furniture—Mom’s dresser and Dad’s armoire—for a steal. But it didn’t matter, because he was proud to be able to offer these pieces to his wife.
Memories cannot be reduced to material objects or dollars and cents. Although the items that were sold for a song over the weekend may spark the remembrance of Thanksgiving dinners, family trips, or childhood Christmases, those times will be forever in the hearts and minds of those who lived them. I just pray that those who now have Mom’s treasured possessions live a life as rich and blessed as she did.
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Beautiful. Nearly brought me to tears as I am a sentiment as well and could totally relate to your every word. Brian has mom in Idaho and he just mentioned the other day about cleaning up the Livermore house and planning an estate sale, except, my parents didn’t really own anything of value save for the houses themselves. As of last week the San Lorenzo house no longer belongs to my mom and I am saddened thinking of the memories we shared in those walls. Thankful it was mostly good memories.
How beautifully written. I am sorry for your loss Jennifer but in the telling, Chris’ mom lives on.
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Thank you, Kathy. And you are right, Chris’s mom will live on in the hearts of her children and grandchildren.
I have helped friends with a few of those sales. Since I wasn’t emotionally attached it was easier for me to help. One thing it does though is spur me on to come home and clean out some of my own “stuff”. I have no children and I want it to be as easy as possible for whatever relative has to do it. However, at each of the sales they have let me take whatever things I wanted.
I can go through my different rooms and tell you which person I got my treasure from. Those pieces are much more precious to me than new things that I have bought. I usually give the newer things up to make a place for the older well made pieces.
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Diane, I’m sure, since you treasure things from your friends, you understand how difficult it would be to watch precious pieces from one’s childhood being sold off. It was hard for me, and I didn’t grow up in the household. I think it was most difficult for my sister-in-law because so many of her memories were tied up with things Mom kept–even things she didn’t like! Even knowing that everything here on earth is temporal, it’s still hard to let go sometimes. It’s very thoughtful of you to think about what your family or friends will have to deal with once you pass on for greener pastures.
I am so sorry you are all having to go through this. I also understand. I decided that for financial reasons I needed to move. My husband passed away last November. Some of his stuff was easy to donate. But the stuff left I have going through within the last month. Closing is September 30th, my deadline. but it is hard to give up the things I loved about him. It is hard to give up this house we have lived in for the past 26 years. My daughter recognized my reluctant to pack, sell or give away so much stuff. She would give me rooms I needed to go through and the date she would be there to help.