Merriam-Webster Dictionary defines an obsession as a persistent disturbing preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or feeling. This word is thrown around casually by many, including me. The key word here is unreasonable. I’ve stated that I’m obsessed with work, but that’s clearly an exaggeration. Or is it? A few years ago while researching the Internet for a writing project, I was distracted by the story of a 58-year-old woman, Darlene Flynn, who made the news because she’d allegedly been murdered by her 29-year-old boyfriend. As sad as that was, it wasn’t what had me delving further. It seemed Darlene had been on the reality show My Collection Obsession for her collection of almost 15,000 shoe-related items. This obsession earned her a spot in the Guinness Book of World Records.
On a short video clip that accompanied the story, the late Darlene showed off her modest home, jam packed with every conceivable shoe item you can imagine from figurines to furniture. She proudly told viewers how she worked 60-80 hours a week, yet still found it difficult to pay her mortgage because so much of her income went into her obsession.
Even after getting back on task, I couldn’t get Darlene out of my mind. To spend her life focused on something so (okay, I’m just going to put it out there) ridiculous. Working obscene hours, living paycheck to paycheck and for what? Then to have her life end so tragically. How pitiful. I’d like to say I’m not judging, but that would be a lie. I wonder if God had something wonderful planned for Darlene—and if so, where did it go so horribly wrong?
The truth is, many of us are fixated on temporal things, too. It may not get us in the Guinness Book of World Records or land us a spot on My Collection Obsession, but it’s not any more God-honoring than Darlene’s shoe collection. How many hours are we preoccupied with food, or exercise, or travel? What about watching sports on television, gaming, or hobbies that take up much of our time—time better spent doing God’s work? And as I sat in my office, judging poor Darlene, I wondered what areas of my life could be put to better use.
Several years ago, I read a devotional by Dr. Charles Stanley of intouch.org, and one thing he wrote resonated with me enough to jot it down. “The only way you’ll fulfill God’s purposes is by setting goals that align with His will and taking specific steps to achieve them…from the Lord’s perspective, spiritual passivity always results in a squandered life.” I want more than anything to face God in heaven and hear the words, “Well done, my good and faithful servant.”
Here is my conundrum, and maybe yours, too. God’s Word commands us to work and to rest.
I’ve got the work part down, but it’s not always God-honoring work. Obsessive? Maybe. Chris and I spent ten days doing maintenance on our rental condo in Orange Beach, Alabama recently. The hours sped by so fast, our time there was over before we knew it. We got our early morning and evening beach walks in, but other than that every waking moment was consumed with the projects we wanted to have done before heading home. It made me a little sad, as the warm Gulf waves washed over my feet that last morning, when I realized I should have taken more time to just be. Sit on the deck with a good book or lounge by the pool or the ocean. We were blessed that particular morning by a school of dolphins leaping from the water to show off their grace and beauty. It was a magical sight to behold, let me tell you. Those are the gifts I never want to take for granted. It’s easy to miss, though, when we don’t take the necessary time to just bask in His glorious creation.
In Mark 6:31, Jesus was with his disciples. “Then, because so many people were coming and going that they did not even have a chance to eat, he [Jesus] said to them, “Come with me by yourselves to a quiet place and get some rest.” There are over two hundred scripture verses in the Bible that talk about rest. When God completed the creation of the world, He rested on the seventh day. We cannot be effective in the Lord’s work if work is all we do—even if it’s focused on ministry. When we’re burned out and tired, we may more easily slip into the shady side of sin.
In light of all this, I have a couple of questions for you to ponder—and feel free to leave an answer in the comments. Do you have a hobby that could be considered a bit obsessive? Or maybe your thing is binge-watching television, reading voraciously, or locked onto social media. I have little time for any hobbies, but I certainly can get fixated on work, and much of it has no eternal value. Does God really care if the grout in my kitchen is sparkling clean?
How do we find a healthy balance between work and rest? I’m truly looking for answers here, because I don’t have any. With my type-A personality, I get a lot done, but I fear I miss much of what the Lord has for me because I tend to have tunnel vision. What end of the spectrum do you land? Are there things you desire to accomplish in our short time on this side of heaven, or are you satisfied with where you are? If so, that’s awesome. I would guess, however, you’re in the minority.
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Obsession. Years ago, I was training for a 100-mile trail race. I was up in the dark of morning to get my training miles in before work. I had a goal of finishing the race. Was that an obsession? It may have been, but it was necessary to reach my goal (which I did). After that I cut my running back considerably. So what some called ‘my obsession’ ended with no remorse on my part. Do I have other obsessions. Probably. Writing? Cycling? But they don’t own me. I guess that would be a good question. What owns you?
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That is a very good question. We have grandchildren moving into the area very soon, which will completely challenge me to prioritize. Writing is what I do for the Lord. Family–well that’s for me. But ultimately, the time we put into the younger generation is also for the glory of the Lord. He will stretch my time, I’m sure. Blessings to you, my friend.
Jennifer, I definitely understand the conundrum. When does it become obsessive? avoidance? overfocused? I know I have the tendency to experience all three, more the being overfocused. There are times when working on a topic, especially one I thoroughly enjoy and needed for my research, I lose track of time. I have gone hours without stopping, drinking, eating and sometimes not even taken a restroom break. Other times I will use the work for avoidance, not wanting to face the world. The key may be to prioritize our schedule (which we need to make), make a conscious effort, set a timer if needed, to follow the schedule set for the day and follow it. Sure it will be uncomfortable at first. Just think of the joy you may find when you spend quality time with yourself doing things such as spiritual growing, crafts or reading to grow mentally, getting out with friends or family to grow socially, and quiet time with God to listen to what He desire for you. As I said, this may or may not be easy at first, but develop a habit. Be flexible, yet not too flexible. Remember a routine needs to be established so you miss the activity when it does not occur. This is just a suggestion, one I have to implement for myself as well. Be safe and blessed. Great article!! Much food for thought!!
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Thank you so much for your suggestions, Dar. You are so right on about needing to make the changes that will become habit for a healthier work/rest life. I get so caught up in what I need to do for the Lord, I forget that without that balance, I will be useless in the long run. Be blessed!