It was on our second day driving home from California when Chris announced, “I can’t wait to be back to our old routine.” I concurred. He had flown out to northern California on September 1st, so by the time we pulled into our driveway in Tennessee on Friday afternoon, he’d been gone for twenty-five days—nearly a month. I’d flown out to meet him on September 11th, the day his mom passed away by his side. Maybe if he’d been on an exciting vacation to some exotic locale, throwing out his routine wouldn’t have mattered so much. Instead, what he did while he was away was both critical and necessary. It’s at times like these that spontaneity is king.
I’d be curious to know if you’re routine-oriented, spontaneous, or somewhere in between. Just like my husband, I’m a creature of habit. It’s a good thing. Right? I got to wondering and Googled the pros and cons of a routine-oriented life. I wasn’t at all surprised by the pros: more efficient and get things done; less stressed, happier and healthier; don’t procrastinate as much; better follow-through on promises (dependable); being prepared for the demands of daily life; learn more and become better at what you do (writing); more structured life; get into the “flow” faster. Sounds good, doesn’t it?
What I didn’t expect was to find just as many cons: Routines don’t work for everyone; they won’t immediately solve your problems (well, duh. I don’t think anyone would expect this); life is unpredictable and can get in the way of routines (see the beginning of this blog post for confirmation if you don’t believe this one); you’ll risk boredom and monotony; you’ll stop growing if you don’t add more goals and objectives; not all routines are good for you (another duh!); risk of less creativity and inspiration; routines are hard work and require dedication.
I read them over a few times and got stuck on “you’ll risk boredom and monotony.” Of all the cons, that one hit the mark, and I spent a few hours reflecting on it before sharing it with Chris.
“We’re not boring.” He scoffed. “We’re disciplined.”
Hate to break it to him, but there are many times I feel pretty dull. Am I boring because I’m routine-oriented or am I routine-oriented because I’m boring? It’s the chicken and the egg question. Yes, I get things done and find some security in having a set schedule. I’ve had my routine ripped from me from time to time—for both good reasons and not so good. This last month has been a mixture of the two. It was hard losing Chris’s mom and the necessary tasks that came in the aftermath. But there was joy in knowing she’s exactly where she wants to be, connecting with my sister-in-law, Diane, and supporting my sweet husband in his time of need. So, the routine went out the window.
“Sometimes it’s good to have things shaken up a little,” Chris said somewhere around the 1800-mile mark on our homeward trek. “It makes us appreciate the little things in life.” Like our daily routine.
So, why do we wait for an emergency to wing it? Why don’t we just throw routine out the window and go crazy? Isn’t that what retirement is all about? Is it possible to change a lifetime of habits and be something different? Would I get more inspiration for my novels if I let spontaneity reign a little? Probably. Truth be told, it’s hard for us to be spontaneous unless we schedule it. Talk about a conundrum!
Sunday morning on our routine walk (sigh), I brought up the idea of a semi-spontaneous schedule with Chris. Again. I have a good friend who has day trips listed out and kept in a jar. Every week, she and her husband draw one at random—that’s their fun day for the week. It sounds so simple, doesn’t it? Then why is it so difficult to implement? Time passes so quickly, and I doubt I’ll be lying on my death bed one day lamenting that I didn’t spend more time at my computer, or doing yard work, or house cleaning. None of it will matter. Instead, I might wonder why I didn’t get out and explore the sights and meet new people. Who knows what exciting things might be waiting just around the bend of the uncharted path?
I’d love to hear from you. Which way do you lean? What are the pros and cons for how you do life? If you’re spontaneous, or have shifted from routine-oriented into that dark and scary place of spontaneity, what advise do you have for those of us who cling to a set schedule?
Comments 4
Not surprisingly, I lean more toward spontaneity. I guess that’s why I feel a bit like I’m chaotic when we are together. I absolutely love the calm you and Chris bring, gives me a bit of peace and grounding.Makes sense now, that my lack of routine keeps me from following through with my good intentions, like phone calls or sending cards.
Losing mom so soon was totally unexpected but fortunately my spontaneity is allowing me to come to work and be stress free just waiting to hear word from Brian when I need to buy a plane ticket and head to California for the funeral.(Packing my bags in a rush last minute has been my method for the last several trips to CA). So there’s a pro for my fly by the seat of my pants lifestyle. With my kids’ sports and schedules, I sometimes have to be flexible if games or practices get rained out and postponed. Organized chaos is my seasonal lifestyle and it’s not for the faint of heart but I have to admit there is definitely no boredom or monotony here. Maybe one day when Stephen retires and we have an empty nest, we’ll settle into a routine….nah, I like the chaos. Much love to you both!!! I completely enjoyed this piece. Glad you both are home safe and sound. Now it’s my turn to go to CA. Seems like we are always crossing paths. We need to schedule a time to get you out this way soon.
Author
There is definitely an upside to being spontaneous. With three kids, you are able to do well at flying by the seat of your pants. At least you never get bored! We will get out there soon–would love to see the fall colors from your side of the state. Love you lots, cuz!
I love your blog just because I can catch up with your life. I am more of a routine type person, but that has been shaken a bit by my husbands passing and now by getting ready to move out of my home of 26 years and into a new-to-me home clear on the other side of Tulsa, an area I know nothing about. I have spent time in the past month looking on Google Maps to see what is out there.
Because of this move my life has been more spontaneous and less routine. right now all my cabinets are empty. luckily I had some dishes in the dishwasher or we might have packed them all. But I am in the home stretch. We are switching a full dumpster for an empty one to get the last of the wood my husband collected over the last 40 years because he was going to build furniture. It has been an imaginable amount of wood and tools. We, my daughter and I are doing the last chores required by the buyers of my house. The closing on the house is Wednesday at noon. Will I get back into my routines then? Stay tooned. I love you and Chris lots. I am sure you are glad to be home, but remember it is the spontaneity in our lives that make routine enjoyable and not a rut.
I love the day trip in a jar idea. Thanks.