You Are So Adored

My son Christopher has not had an easy life. Although there have been things done to him, through no fault of his own, I still often point out he’s his own worst enemy. Years of pursuing a dream, which by any standard is a long shot, doesn’t help. When he visited at Christmas, he voiced his frustration over people who don’t recognize the value of his work. One such person told him if he wasn’t making money, it was merely a hobby.

After some discussion, he admitted that he didn’t even know the woman who made the comment. She was merely a customer service rep filling out a form over the phone.

“Then what do you care what she thinks?” I asked.

“It’s just frustrating, Mom. I work long hours and I’m told it’s not a career. She doesn’t know anything about what I do or how hard I work at it.”

In some ways, my son was preaching to the choir. I’ve been at this writing gig for fifteen years, and although I’ve had several books published, I haven’t made a dime. Good thing for me I’m married to a man who believes the ministry of writing is more important than monetary gain. At the same time, I’ve had a couple of well-meaning friends comment that they should write a book, too, so they can supplement their income. My response? Don’t quit your day job. This isn’t a hobby; it’s hard work. Day in and day out. I don’t do it to impress others, though, I do it out of obedience to God.

It all comes down to this: from where do we receive our inner sense of well-being? As Paul David Tripp wrote in New Morning Mercies, “We seek horizontally for the personal rest that we are to find vertically, and it never works…First, you will never be good enough, consistently enough, to get the regular praise of others that you are seeking” (January 11^th).

I could blame Christopher’s need for approval from others on the fact that he’s not a Christian, despite my best efforts and daily prayers. But I know plenty of those who claim to be Christians who fall into this same trap. I’ve been there myself many times. It’s been through a few head slaps from the Holy Spirit and scriptural reminders about how much God hates pride that I’ve come to a place of rest. In the January 11^th devotional mentioned above, Mr. Tripp wrote this as the heading: If you have been freed from needing success and acclaim to feel good about yourself, you know grace has visited you.

When we seek approval, success, or acclaim from anyone but Christ, we will always stumble and fall. There have been far too many times in my past I desired more pats on the back from people than I did from the Lord, and I made a fool of myself every time. A word spoken better left unsaid, taking part in gossip to feel like one of the crowd, building myself up by putting someone else down. It’s not only humiliating, but it’s a poor witness to the love and grace of Jesus Christ.

I can’t help but think of the Academy Award acceptance speech Sally Field made in 1985 for Places in the Heart. I didn’t see it firsthand, but it’s been revisited so often since that fateful night, I feel as if I was there. In preparation for this post, I watched it again on YouTube.  “You like me. You really like me,” she’d said while tears streamed down her face. I’ve always had a soft spot for this woman, and after reading her memoir In Pieces, I can truly understand the heart behind this emotional and humiliating speech. But it’s a moment she will most likely regret until the day she dies.

There is a Christian music artist born the same year as Sally Field’s famous acceptance speech. You might know of her—Francesca Battistelli. In 2014, around the time I had to step away from writing (and the agent I’d just acquired) to work in Chris’s office, Ms. Battistelli recorded the song “He Knows My Name.” When I first heard it, I was frustrated by the lack of progress I was making, and to be honest, concerned that I’d never be traditionally published. The chorus in this song ministered to my heart and reminded me why I was writing in the first place.

I don’t need my name in lights
I’m famous in my Father’s eyes
Make no mistake
He knows my name
I’m not living for applause
I’m already so adored
It’s all His stage
He knows my name

When we can truly hold onto the truth that the Lord knows the number of hairs on our heads, holds our entire lives in His loving hands, and that He’s chosen us for something so much better than the acclaim of others, we will know grace and be able to rest in it.

But seek first the kingdom of God and His righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Matthew 6:33

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